


HAMILTON ( ͡° ͜ʖ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) AU

by gaynxiety



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Crack Fic, Cussing, Furry, Fursona, Gay, Jamilton - Freeform, M/M, Slow Burn, Tumblr, did i mention gay?, furry shaming, macaroni, tjeffs is a furry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 10:33:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13029207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaynxiety/pseuds/gaynxiety
Summary: a shit show.written by me and @macaroni_cats1789 on instagramfind me on tumblr @macaroni-cats1789





	1. the beginning

Alexander sighed, pulling his hair up into a ponytail. He heard a knock at his office door. He looked up. He didn’t realize how dark the room hand gotten. He looked back at his computer-- holy shit it’s 4AM. He grunted as a signal of ‘come in’.

“Hey how you doin’” said Thomas Jefferfuck playfully ( ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)) . Alexander blinked at him. “What the fuck’re you doing in my office at… 4 AM?” He said in one breath.

“Well, darlin’, I have uh… quick question for you.” Only then, Alexander noticed the redness in Thomas’ eyes and the rank smell radiating off of him. 

“Are you fucking high?” Alexander said with a sigh.

 

“Bitch you better bet the diddly darn I am.” replied Thomas the tank engineer. 

 

“We’ve talked about this, asshole.” Alexander rubbed his temple. “Why are you even in here? What’s your… ‘quick question’?”

 

“DogGos, or Cats?” Thomas chuckled with a sinister smirk. 

 

Alexander sighed. “You’re… coming into my office… at 4AM… to ask me if I like dogs or cats? Dogs, of course, but did something… traumatic happen? The last time you came in here like this, your fucking wife died.”

 

“Well, I was on Tumblr, you know, with my sw@g af username Macaroni-Cats1789, and I found cute cat pics, and they were just so fucking cute man, I can’t imagine why ANYONE WOULD LIKE DOGS BETTER THAN CATS.” Thomas began sobbing. 

 

“Why’re you crying over pussies, you fucking pussy-” He paused. “Are you a furry, Thomas? Is that… is that.. What you’re trying to tell me..?”

  
“Why the fuck...why would you even say that man!? I- I- How...DARE YOU!!  _ ACCUSE ME _ ? DO I WEAR FURRY ASS TAILS STICKIN’ OUT MY ANUS? NO I DID NOT THINK SO.”


	2. slurp me furry daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a mess

Alexander held his face in his hands. “Can you please just get out of my office and let me work?” His speech was muffled by his hands.

 

“Well listen here, I give no fucks about your work, because you accused me of being a furry when in all actuality, sir, I just really favor cats and most furry creatures.” (Kat A/N- “Can you overdose on blood? Like- if you drink blood can you overdose on it?”-Devin 2k17)

“And,” Alexander continued on the Virgin ian’s behalf ((Devin A/N- thomas jefferson takes the ‘virgin’ out of ‘virgin’ian)) “Since you favor yourself above everything, wouldn’t that make you some form of  **furry** creature?” 

 

“You make absolutely no sense. Honestly speaking, I wished for dogs to go extinct because cats are so much more agile, and clean, and pleasant to be around rather than stupid dogs. But, all animals should deserve equality, I mean this is 2017 right? (Kat A/N: don’t get offended  ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐ )

 

(Devin A/N: I’m always offended, h o n e y) Alexander glared at Thomas. “Get. Out.” He’s  **S T E A M E D.**

 

“Oh.” Thomas just stared at Alexander blankly. “But, I’m not a furry uwu.” 

 

Alexander G A G G E D (Devin A/N: ;)) “S..so… what’s your… Fursona? I mean, theoretically, since you’re “”””not a furry””””.”

 

“*Sniffle* My fursona...is...Miss Floofkins, and she a beautiful Peacock penguin wolf.” 

 

“I- I see, and… does… Mr. Madison know of this?” He said, looking the SUDDENLY mega super attractive Virginian, up and down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ha


	3. ooOoOOo steamy bb

“Uwm...yweah...I mwean…..hwe hwas a” Thomas lowers his voice “*lwowers vwoice evwern more* fuwsona too….nwn” (A/N: Whil Wheaton) 

 

“Holy shit… and… well… what’s..” Alexander cleared his throat. “What’s Mr. Madison’s fursona?” He said in a super mega serious tone. 

 

“H-Hwell, M-M-Mawdwison’s www fuwsona OWO is wwwwwwwww a dawgo ww named Wooflee Waggwe  [ www.gethelpplz.com ](http://www.gethelpplz.com) .”

 

“Does… does Burr..?” Alexander wondered if all the Southern Motherfucking Democratic Republicans were secretly furries.

 

“Www-w-ell, y-yeah...iwt’s a kwiwtty uwu wiwth a bwow awnd a tawp hat.”

 

“Good to… know. How long has this… thing been going on between you three?”

 

“W-wewll...iwt’s mwar t-then jwust twee…” 

 

“..Who else?” Now Alexander was… well, to be honest, emotionally invested.

 

“I-I-I’ve bween swown to secwecy...sowwy ;w;” 

 

“What will it…” He started. “Take you to c RA C K?” He said SEDUCTIVELY.

 

“Uhm...oowmm….maybe we can gwet intwo ouwr fuwwy swuits...awnd hwave fwun.” 

 

“I…” Alexander felt his face heat up. “I’m not a furry…!!!11111!” 

 

“Bwut...whawt iws thwat wowk youw wewre worwking on befowre anywawys?”

 

“...I… none of your business.” He held his laptop close to himself.

**Author's Note:**

> written by me and @Kat_Jeeverson on instagram
> 
> find me on tumblr @macaroni-cats1789


End file.
